i couldn't sleep yesterday night. not being able to sleep brings about thoughts which in turn, brings about realization. there is this certain conception that i will always be be stuck in the middle of everything i aspire for. that i can never reach for the highest no matter how hard i try. the realization of the fact that there is so much i can do, so limited, that i will never succeed even though i've tried my hardest. i've never been the person who takes risks. i think if you don't take risks in life, you probably won't succeed or achieve what you aspire for. when i say 'risks', i don't mean the heck care kind of risks, those insignificant financial risk-taking nonsense. i'm talking about life-changing risks. the kind of risks that you take to achieve your dream at the expense of something else so ordinary but at the same time, valuable. like,crap everything else that is the norm and go crazy, the rockstar kind of risks where he cashes everything he owns to make it big kind of risks. if you fail and lose everything, then be it, tough luck. you have to lose to learn how to win. the learn-from-your-mistakes bullcrap which is invariably true to a certain extent. that's the problem with me essentially. i'm afraid of failing so much so that i tend to stay in my comfort zone.