so there i was sitting on my bed engrossed
in the middle of my thoughts on the things that i prepetrated
on that fateful day.
look at the clock, its five.
i switched off the lights, then the screaming radio
and laid in bed pretending everything's fine
tired, my eyes closed.
i'm happy to be alive as the sun shines
i am a student and a sports enthusiast.
still loving short hair,ruggedness and intelligence.
pride is smart.ego is king.
it doesnt help the fact that my name is 'fadzly'.
Angel from the nightmare
AND-VB/ASC 2008
2007 has been one hell of a roller coaster ride for me and i saw a miracle today that probably changed the whole mood for this year as i brace myself for 2008. It was an ambivalent moment, i wanted to do the the-mourinho-shaking-in-and-out-of-the-forearms-gesture in triumph but i also wanted to cry. it's a rarity to suddenly have some kind of a film unfolding right in front of your eyes reminding you of all the bad times at the start of the year and how it changes course in different phases throughout the year. They say that it does one a world of good to reflect, once in a while. To consolidate everything we have seen, heard, smelt, tasted. To remember everything that we have felt. And as the pages turn to the final chapter in our books, I find myself somewhat overwhelmed. Many things have happened, and I have changed so much. the last song i sing as it draws to a close for whole new and much anticipated year. Everyone has their own song. They move on with life to their own rhythm and beat, listen to their own melodies, play their own music. My song, and I am glad to have had it this way, has itself rooted in you. All of you. So i just want to say thanks to my family members, my class, teachers and those who i deemed to be the closest to me. i'm also sorry that my song had been too loud or irritating. have a wicked new year.
with warm regards, fadzly
heh.
the guy speaks 6:08 AM
Thursday, December 25, 2008 5:40 AM
ho. ho. ho.
"You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true. I saw your face in a crowded place, And I don't know what to do, 'Cause I'll never be with you. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true. There must be an angel with a smile on her face, When she thought up that I should be with you. But it's time to face the truth,I will never be with you."
i wonder how james blunt can come up with such lyrics full of cynicism. the song degrades you by emphasizing that you're not good enough for some person you see on the streets. now, is that usually true?
oh well, had class gathering at mr wong's place. it was a day of cheap fun but somebody had to spoil my mood by beating me in winning eleven. grrrr -.- went to arvin's prata shop after that then we crap about shit, urine, christmas, our lower secondary life, the no. of days we need to come to cca, mr fadz's facebook and his seemingly misleading pictures.and we would never miss out any topic about arvin. sigh wish it could be longer. miss u buddies!!
oh, and a very merry xmas (;
the guy speaks 5:40 AM
Tuesday, December 23, 2008 6:47 AM
the atmosphere at the stadium was awesome. it was nice to be able to experience the verbally abusive nature of the game again. a losing game but i guess singapore did pretty well against an attack-minded vietnamese side which had players who are quick and tricky.come to the end of the game, i was too stoned to enjoy the match because of vietnam's goal and all the missed chances. oh well, it's great to be there.
had friendly with unity sec and jurong west sec, screwed up in the beginning but am able to balance towards the end. i realise im psychologically weak sometimes. need to work on that. the fringe players like kenneth, kevin,aik meng and dean were able to shine with the absence of justin. that got me motivated i guess. oh well, school's starting and parents are returning with a few days away, weee! argh shitty cramps from today's volleyball and badminton. can barely move man.
till then.
the guy speaks 6:47 AM
Saturday, December 20, 2008 6:36 AM
i am annoyed. only a bit though. but at myself, mind you. not at anybody else. agitated to the core, i am seriously miserable to an extent that even the gigantic titanic will screw itself upside down and cause a major oil spill that will affect the wildlife in the sea.
so yes, i am not putting the blame on anybody but me. i am after all compulsive. i am begging and pleading for a primary occurrence to happen that would change my point of view. hopefully, it will happen soon. hopefully.
kristen jaymes stewart, this american girl who stood out in her recent acting for twilight. i think it's her eyes. or her name. or her aussie background.
or perhaps, her short hair.
that settles it. i'm putting LA, California as my top priority for my list of places to go to. . . . singapore's performances have been crap. their play are very shaky and facing vietnam the next game, i have a strong feeling that they will suffer tomorrow. i will be watching the match and rooting for them but really, it's frustrating to see your country go downhill.( malaysians, i feel for you.)
aaaah, had fun at ymc today.
end.
the guy speaks 6:36 AM
Monday, December 15, 2008 7:09 AM
"There may not be another way to your heart so I guess I'd better find a new way in. I won't be satisfied"
another man's food might be another man's poison. not myself lately. i was crap at training today. ergh. i should just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. heh
the guy speaks 7:09 AM
and so i waited like a bugger for the green man to light up abiding to the laws of the road. i realized that the traffic light button was not pressed to activate the green man. two janes were standing by the button, jabbering craps possibly pertaining to the length of their hair or the shoe they just bought and what not nonchalantly, ignoring the fact that they did not press the button and not giving a hell about wanting to press the button.
so i approached one of them and precisely told them that, "you're suppose to press the button like this to cross, see?" and one of them was like, "oh, i didn't want to press the button because some people use their feet to kick and press the button."
hearing the utter crap of obvious bimbotic self-centeredness, i was saying to myself, "oh. my. god. what a prick." gave jane number 1 the ewan mcgregor smile, extremely fake . then, i pressed the button, not heeding their claim.
however (and here comes the best part), as much as i'm infuriated and annoyed, i find their ignorance and their selfish reasonings extremely attractive. i think it's the height.
the guy speaks 6:58 AM
Saturday, December 13, 2008 4:09 AM
"Try to leave the lighton when I'm gone, even in the daylight shine on..."
oh damn. that song has a load of meaning to it. whatever it is, i've been dreaming and thinking a lot lately. such fantasies of mine are pretty crazy. but i need those. i just hope it'll come true. haaaaaai!
it's official. i'm a luohan fish. takraw balls are bloody hard. i dont even know why i volunteered to join and now, i'll be treading around like a fool. aiyo, i'm still building silly sandcastles in the air. lord help.
now i can have my huge break during the weekend and catch up with my beauty sleep since i've completed most of my assignments and nothing that can stack up on my shoulders. so im feeling satisfied with myself. went to finish up maths homework with wai kit, hidhir and justin. it's pretty okay since we have four heads to help(and copy) each other out. was very funny doing work with them. when we settled on a place and when we were putting our bag, justin nonchalantly said: "wow."
"what?"
"this library..."
"what's wrong, man?"
"makes me feel like, well, tempts me to take a nap." *smiles to himself*
wai kit cursed justin while i laughed. i thought it was damn funny. justin was on his dumps recently with the affair so we thought it was something serious. the funny thing was that he told us nonchalantly. haha.
waaah i think i need to get back on track. my stamina's diminishing and it's demoralising me. i ran 7.2 km with mr fadz and gang at seletar resevoir and i couldn't take it at somewhere 3.3 km i think. abdominal pain. aaaah mr fadz still has the cheek to say it's so short. hmph i accused him of taking steroids hahahaha. okay thats about all. been eating alot. see ya around.
it's hot in here, should switch on the air-conditioner. cos you're making me melt.
the guy speaks 4:09 AM
Saturday, December 06, 2008 2:44 AM
i'm loving the week. a few days without cca or any form of accumulated authority could actually work well for me. i'm not stressed whatsoever. and this few days have actually gave me a chance to get closer to my religious side. just so lovely, the week.
amidst all the stress-free week, i still have a longing for something special. it won't work without any effort, no doubt, but if things are gonna happen, it will happen sooner or later... right? i played my part, questioned my move and thought about the consequences. the thing that can mess everything upside down, my confidence included, would be all the pessimistic and cynical thoughts of mine. i don't mind something crazy but getting demoralized time after time again can get pretty boring sometimes.
i have two bullets and i can only trigger once. sheesh
aaah cramps. can barely kneel down. well, at least you're back.
the guy speaks 2:44 AM
Tuesday, December 02, 2008 9:21 PM
i was depressed.so i cut myself.
the reasons why i cut myself: 1) for spongebob 2) for volleyball 3) for chelsea 4) for anderson?errr... 5) because my grandma force me to eat my greens during breakfast just now
right. no way am i gonna do something so messed up. so yeah, luqman invited me for futsal soccer and i just couldn't resist the temptation. but the shitty field with tiny grasses that were thorny kinda caused all the crazy cuts. i slided down on an approximately 48 degrees celsius field. can see the whole part of my knee turned red accompanied with a gash.ouch. well, at least i played soccer after eons.
