this room is dusty, and the conservationist in me refuses to switch on the light,so all im getting is a mere stream from the window.i can hear squels from american idol replay in the hall.dusty dusty, so is my mind actually, memories getting caked with dust already, when it's only been not more than half a year. Growing up is a fast process, not one that i enjoy partaking but it's not as if we have a choice anyway.Yet, when i glance behind some are still in the comfortable ride of happiness, ignorance..it's not that i'm not happy, i am...well i'm not happy but i'm not upset either.& truth be told i am scared, that along with the memories caked with dust, right smack in the middle, there you'll find me just lying there part of the memories, too ignorant to let them go, so who am i right now when the real me is but a mere memory?not sure really, just someone who almost forgot how loud he could laugh,just waking up doing the usual routines, excuse me but really, since when did i do routines?i'm just merely existing at this point of time,& i would never have thought myself to be like this at all.

digressing..

okay i know i'm slow but the dates 16th-18th March will etched eternally in my memory. SCMUN '09 has become a reality to me and the other generation of leaders, bridging friendships from different background trading ideas, experiences and of course, our particulars. i'm very exuberent about how we teenagers gather together actively debating and discussing about world issues.i just realise that the flow is the magical state where everything that we all say and touch feels effortless and falls into place like it's meant to be. they foud their own voice before using it to inspire others. many great individuals there. it's hard to believe some of them are of my age and croons words that suggests maturity well beyond the 20s.though their little outbursts and mild profanity during debates would remind you of the 13-17 year olds that we actually are. The saddest thing now is regretting not fulfilling my role, my potential and desire at this wonderful stage. Security Council mates are the coolest bunch plus our very effective but then silly and ridiculous delegates. you guys had made the whole course worthwhile. how fruitful it was when we decided to have an ice breaker after a much heated debate.this whole experience so valuable. the dinner and dance, sounds and lights, crisis and some others were very engaging. everybody did a good job. congrats to the winning delegates and hopefully, we'll keep in touch. miss you guys loads. (: (: (:

after a long phase of good health, it's about (effing) time i got sick.
yea, at the wrong time. and i need a camera handphone where i can take pictures and put it in my blog. heh

note to self: im supposed to be sleeping. Good luck staying awake tomorrow

had this moment' before sleeping. Was listening to mayday parade while everyone was asleep, and have you seen the stars there? And i started to feel, alone. Can't help feeling small, when im but a mere spectator to God's simple pleasant wonder of diamonds against a deep blue backdrop. I miss some people alot. i miss my acoustic too. i miss my own better self.

nothing to post about these days.

at night we watch the stars explode with you