hmmm...beautiful things. (;

i had the most excellent time watching and enjoying the good things in life. today's badminton is very awesome. everything became so so great. i'm enjoying my time with this current batch. i really am. well, that's not the motive of the post. time to update again on my accounts and thoughts on life being rampant in a uniform organisation. heard stuffs that some people committed suicide because of love. cruel hor? never understood how they had the guts to jump. anyways, teenage romance is a norm and i do ahve my views on it.

in singapore's society, our first encounter with the opposite gender is in secondary school. you can pity those single sex school , for them it will be in jc, universities but also army if they have a special reference! aaaah living the life of a 15 year old is a time of exploration, breaking away from being a kid and maybe 'act' to be an adult. actually came to think of it, i never wanted to grow up.being a kid is fun and i believe we can always remain cute and curios like a child, when making mistakes are fun.

as we grow our thinking changes, most of our minds are really not stable (eg. wen jie. jun xi. larry lol) and decision-making is often reckless and impulsive. i made a lot of mistakes and most of them often ended with regrets. i need proper guidance and monitoring or else the situation will be disastrous and irreversible. It's nobody's fault! we have to get this straight. parents are not trained to handle teenagers. we need behavioural management that we need. from here, education is vital.

think about the peer pressure you have to go through. the media glamourises teenage romance, the fashion industry targets teenagers, and your friends show off their boysfriends or girlfriends to you. honestly,i feel lousy and i know most of u do too if you like cannot 'catch up'. you have to belong somehow. you have your pride your jealousy, your lack of money and confidence. worst of all, your puberty! aaaaaah!

what is going on here? the school system prepares kids to live lives in the future and juz make mroe money for the country. nobody gives a shit on how teenagers their lives. ok my whole family do. school expects to do something and the parents expect the schools to do EVERYTHING. if not complain right? right? right?

teachers also need jobs looking at the economic meltdown and cannot afford to offend parents.

bleargh, out of point already lol.what is love? aiya, i don't know. i am a failure currently. i never understood how to please people. i only know how to be myself. do you call me 'selfish'? i find there are so many other people who really need your help and companionship. are we really so scared and lose confidence that we must have someone to remind us that we are pretty and good? i am very confused. we fall in love for a 'feel good' reason. because others do it we must also do it? bruises are inflicted on both parties and usually turn to self-doubt and destruction. then, suffer! wah lau!

yada yada yada, oh. i fully understand that teenage-hood is also a time to make more friends.the importance of network.knowing and understanding more peopl will amkke you more aware of our social problems and we learn from there how to tackle them head-on.

you can associate love like appreciating the beauty of a butterfly.when it lands on your palm, you admire and cherish it. when it flies you let it go. if you close your plams, you hurt and even crush it. i do have girls that i love but most of teh time to the worng person. damn agonising!
actually, i never want to possess them.they will always know that i care for them. some say i never go after them, must put in efforts to chase. yes, it's true!. i never chase girls. i find this very disrespectful to the person. i will appreciate her more if she is not one who takes praises to satisfy her vanity.what for if they cannot sense my love? ha!

to end off, just think hard and many times. i may be a loser in romance, i don't one my close ones to fence themselves in a relationship and forget about community living like i used to. also, the urgency we need to integrate more people to fight social problems. lol. i just don't want them to get hurt!

woah seh, i wrote quite alot.hope mr poh gave this topic for oral and i must own it. hehe

careless whispers.

tiring week. i need a hugggggggeee break this weekend. the weekend will be used to catch up on homework as well. joined this Dialogue Competition held by the malay cultural society in RI. thought it was fun and haven't been to RI before, i gave it a try then. met the dudes from RI and got to know a few cool guys. my fullest respect to them, really. was abit disappointed that we didn't win. had high hopes after our performance but in the end it just turned out otherwise. had fun anyway and the food was awesome. hope to be back again sia. here are the photos. (note: most taken by seri ariyani)

B.Z.
time to update again. i can't even remember the sequence of scenarios that happened these past few days. all i know is that it has been pretty hectic even without volleyball. heavy workload and such. still, the situation makes it all awkward. still stumped. still clueless. i don't know what to do next. what move to make. still looking for a sign. please, lord. sheesh. i just hope everything works out fine. anyways, here are the photos of mr fadz's engagement party. (;